Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Sexiest Men in Show Business

Yes, it's that time again, when People magazine tells me what celebrities I'm supposed to find hot, and I respond with a mocking "Ha!"

Since I did a full list of ten last year, it's been hard to come up with fresh contenders, and not just rearrange the same names, like People does. Since I just watched Series 3 of Hamish Macbeth, it was a real temptation to bend the rules for Robert Carlyle, but I'm showing super-human restraint here. But my list does continue to be dominated by British character actors. Another of the many ways in which I differentiate myself from the other, more Neo-Rat-Pack heavy listings.

1. Christopher Eccleston. I never would have dreamed I'd be saying this back in the Shallow Grave days. But mmm, mmm. You never know who'll suddenly blossom into hottiness. Doctor in Leather (that sounds kinky) -- sweet, cheerful, damaged, possibly psychotic, all rolled up in one. Invisible Man you most want to look at.

2. and 3. The Men of MI-5: David Oyelowo and Matthew Macfayden. Sadly, neither of them are on the show anymore, but that's why God made DVDs. Newer cast member Rupert Penrey-Jones is okay, too, but not quite up to their stellar standard. Worth an honorable mention. Macfayden actually did a great job in the quintesstially romantic role of Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Oyelowo is probably the least known of the three, but definitely the most missed. He'll be in the upcoming No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency movie, so maybe he'll get more on the radar, where he belongs.

4. Jason Dohring. Starting out as a seemingly stereotypical character (screwed-up rich boy) on Veronica Mars, he unrolled layers of heart-breaking emotional sensitivity. I've pondered the casts of several teen and young adult shows full of pretty boys for this list, and Dohring's Logan stands way, way out as the realest and most charismatic.

5. Okay, "sexy" isn't quite the right word. He belongs on People's "Most Beautiful People" list, but I can't possibly come up with enough people for that. So as a special guest, "Most Beautiful Man in Show Business," I give you Battlestar Galactica's Alessandro Juliani. Uh, that's Lt. Gaeta to you. He's so low on the show biz totem pole that the IMDB doesn't even have a PICTURE of him. Are they freakin' blind?

And there you have it! Ten last year, five this...that's more hot guys in Hollywood than I thought I'd find when I started looking. Feel free to add your current crushes in the "Comments" section, and let's remember them all at Thanksgiving!

(For all my Blogger readers, who didn't get to read the debut list, here's last year's post. Still relevant.)

Sexiest Man Alive: Anarchivist Edition

People, Schmeople. It's really the Sexiest Actor in Hollywood, and actually, I think they just take the same bunch of guys every year, of the same level of stardom and career longevity, and throw them in a hat. So it's Brad one year and George the next, and then Brad again. Otherwise, I picture the people in a board room with a chart saying that Matthew McConaughey is inching ahead one tenth of one percent.

The Sexiest Man Alive (other than my honey) is probably some guy in India or Nebraska or the Congo that nobody knows about except the lucky local ladies. Given the impossibility of truth in advertising, here are my current picks for Sexiest Actors in Show Biz. We can just assume that Ewan McGregor has been the winner for a few years past...okay, several years...and this year I'm giving someone else a chance.

A quick word about my taste: In 1977, there was a heyday of pretty-boy teeny bop idols, a frightening precursor to the (shudder) "boy band" phenomenon that would flourish later. While Shaun Cassidy, Andy Gibb, Leif Garrett, and Scott Baio were on the covers of all the "Nonthreatening Boys" magazines (to quote the Simpsons), the year I turned 13, who was my teen idol? Richard Dreyfuss. Especially Jaws-era Richard Dreyfuss. Still totally my type! I think that's why there are so many non-American actors on my list, because in the U.S. there are too many pretty boys who rise to the top of the heap, and in the U.K. it's still more a land of character actors. As a sweeping generalization.

So, to unveil the Anarchivist's Sexiest Actors in Show Biz!

In the top slot: Michael Rosenbaum. We were a handful of episodes into Smallville when I realized how hot Lex Luthor is. What a bizarre and unlikely statement that is. I felt kind of weird about it until I read a commentary on the great Television Without Pity site for an episode where Lex is stalked by a psycho admirer. They said, "If lusting after Lex Luthor is wrong, then nobody on the TWP posting board is right." Amen! Of course, now I think he looks goofy when I see a picture of him with hair, but you can't have everything.

My first runner-up is Hugh Laurie. Those punks on Grey's Anatomy have nothing on Dr. House. Here's a guy who's been around for ages, obviously funny and talented, but now that he's all grizzled and world-weary looking, I'm all "yum!" And his character is mean, which is much more fun than the "Oh, I say!" characters I'm used to seeing him play. But it's not just the meanness. It's smart, funny meanness, and when it's clever and apt, how can you not like it?

The rest of my picks, in library associate-ish alphabetical order:

Jason Bateman: Believe me, nobody's more surprised about this than I am.
Robert Carlyle: You all saw that coming, with my Hamish Macbeth obsession.
Chiwetel Ejiofor: I just saw 2002's Dirty Pretty Things not long ago, and how exciting was it to see him turn up in the Serenity movie!
Denis Lawson: Yep. Wedge. Not quite as unlikely as the Jason Bateman thing, but also unexpected.
Dominic Monaghan: Who I used to call "the cute hobbit." I've finally started to think of him as his character on Lost: cute drug addict? Still typecast as "cute."
Gary Oldman: In Batman Returns, the reverse of the Hugh Laurie trajectory. He's much hotter here playing the heroic nice guy than I ever found him playing intense bad boys. Go figure.
David Straitharn: Who finally got a little respect last year as the smokin' (literally) Edward R. Murrow.
Tony Todd: Okay, I haven't seen him in anything lately, but darn it, I should!

Feel free to add your selections. I promise not to mock you too much if you like those pretty boys.


Unknown said...

Ah! Nice to see another AJ appreciator! He plays such an earnest, emo character on Battlestar Galactica, he doesn't really get a chance to show off any sexiness, although that Season 3 hair was a big improvement! Still, no matter what, he's utterly gorgeous, and somehow manages to combat his frequent lack of lines and gets you to notice him in the background!

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