Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A new system of debauchery

Ah, the smell of just-made coffee. Fragrance of the gods! Swoony happiness!

For some reason I woke up at six, and couldn't get back to sleep, so here I am, trying to find news online that is both (a) interesting, and (b) not depressing. But who am I kidding? I'm not nearly alert enough yet for that kind of difficult quest.

So, in the news in my head: I'm thinking I need to institute a system of Debauchery Points, which would be similar to Weight Watchers, only it would divvy up how much debauchery content I can allow myself. As I've gotten older, it's become clear that I can drink or I can stay up late, but I can't do both. So a drink and a couple hours of lost sleep are roughly equivalent. And a cigarette: that's worth at least two drinks. Sometimes it seems worth it, and then I have to make a trade, holding off on some other kind of bad behavior.

Maybe this will catch on with other aging hipsters who are in denial. Isn't that all of us?

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